Friday, 23 March 2018
WALT: An interesting and informative story about experiencing a fake Auckland eruption.
I was in my kitchen minding my own business when the ground suddenly shook and I was unsure of what to do. I go straight to my window to find the volcano on the other side of the island had exploded and everything was exploding from inside out. The crust of the island was cracking and water was over flowing on the roads, I suddenly felt fear taking over my body as I have another look outside I see that the volcano is having a vertical eruption which produced a huge amount of ash spreading through out the sky. Lava starts to pour down the volcanic disaster and water starts taking over the city one by one the town is flooded and people become stranded in the house with no where safe to escape. As the volcanic rocks start to form the mantle an magma build up more and more and start spitting out at the island, houses are being attacked, people are unaware of where to go and there is no way out. It begins to quieten down but several people are hurt, ash has covered the once beautiful and blue sky, steam builds up on windows, and it gets hard and harder to see. (NOT FINISHED)
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2 comments:
Hi Kalo, here's your point score (at the moment, because I see that you're not finished yet)!
You correctly used (for 3 points each):
island
vertical eruption
ash
lava
magma
steam
I liked how you said 'fear was taking over my body' - I thought that added a lot of drama to your story! Also that the lava started to 'pour' - I thought that was very descriptive.
You didn't lose any points for forgetting any capital letters at the start of sentences, but you did lose 2 points each for the word 'crust' and 'mantle' being used slightly wrong - we've been learning that the crust and mantle are two layers of the Earth, with the crust being the rocky layer under our feet or under the sea and the mantle is the layer underneath it. You were right when you said 'magma build[s] up more and more and started spilling out' - it was magma, but it wasn't the mantle.
So your total score was 18!
I also really liked that you identified the eruption as a 'vertical eruption' but you could have slipped in another 3 points by saying that it wasn't a 'lateral eruption'!
Thanks for sharing your story :)
Hi Kalo. Did you mean to change from past to present tense (stuff that had happened to stuff that is happening now)?? That's a really clever technique if you can control it.
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